Couples

I work with couples using a style called Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy. This looks at the pattern of conflict a couple find themselves in and the roles they play within it. Someone may be the pursuer and attack, and the other may be the withdrawer and defend, and this is a vicious cycle; the real emotions are not being dealt with in the conflict. In the long term, this can lead to feeling unheard, misunderstood, blamed and/or pushed away, even when both partners still want closeness and connection within their relationship through couples counselling in Colchester or couples counselling online UK.

My job is to help the couple slow this cycle down and find the real emotions beyond what happens when it kicks in. These reactions are usually expressed through secondary emotions such as anger, frustration, criticism, or defensiveness. Emotionally focused couples counseling helps couples begin to tune into each other more deeply, so they are able to reach out and relate through what are called primary emotions, such as disappointment, hurt, fear, sadness, or longing.

These less robust feelings enable them to surpass the secondary reactions and relate with empathy. This is where every partner can start feeling heard, understood, and safe to express his/her true emotions and needs. Couples counselling for relationship issues can support couples who feel stuck in blame, attack, defence, or withdrawal, while counseling for couples that argue helps them recognise the pattern they have fallen into and work together to change it.

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is an evidence-based therapeutic approach that is effective because it teaches couples to interrupt the cycle of old and familiar secondary emotions. Couples counselling for breakdown in relationship, conflict resolution counselling for couples, rebuild trust counselling for couples and couples counselling for better communication can all help both parties to communicate in a calmer, more open manner, to restore trust and to work as a team again.